Thursday, July 28, 2005

Welcome back, to the same old place that you laughed about...

It's hotter here than the middle east. Wilmington is going through a heat wave of sorts. The humidity is through the roof, and it's a hundred plus of those little degrees that everyone loves to use to measure heat with. I am jet lagged and very worried that I contracted Malaria. I have had a fever for about five days, and a bit of a headache and lots of body pain. Course I could just be fatigued.

So what to do now. Make with the funny, and start chortling. I'm heading out to Seattle in a couple of days to do the club and some one nighters out there. Really looking forward to the west coast. Haven't seen Vancouver and Seattle for a couple of years (well actually I saw Seattle last year, so I'm a dirty compulsive liar), but you get my drift.

I have some things I want to do out there;

1- Get a new Tattoo, probably on my right shoulder, and probably something extensive and colorful. I have not decided on what but I like Japanese, Robert Williams, or Post 50's optimistic propaganda designs.

2- Hook up with a punk or Alt chick and bash the corporate man together.

3- Hang out for at least a couple days at wreck beach in Vancouver.

4- Soak in the nature, and remember why it's so cool out there.

5- Write, write, write.

6-Fight off my Malaria.

7-Give away my Malaria if possible to someone I dislike.

8-Eat crab, and fresh Salmon and shellfish, and sushi, and killer whale.

9-Protest something. Maybe get involved in a little Eco Terrorism.

10- I might have a coffee.

11- Form a band, then learn to play an instrument, not the other way around, cause that's cliche.

12-Make a list for things I'm gonna do when I go back to Wilmington.


Its so freakin strange being back here. I'll be buying a watermelon at the grocery store, and casually look at the newspaper and see a story on the War, and it will seem like I'm a voyeur again form thousands of miles away. Then it will hit me, dude you were just there! You were in that place, you saw that stuff first hand. It's the strangest disconnect. It's almost like it's an implanted memory like Total Recall's Afghanistan comedy vacation package.

Ok will update soon, gonna get my Prince Albert ring upsized today to a thicker gauge, I will definitely let you know how that goes... I'm gonna guess it's gonna hurt, but maybe I'm being pessimistic. Or maybe you're being pessimistic. Regardless, later bitches.

Monday, July 25, 2005


This is the idiot at US Airways that told security that I was coming from Afghanistan, without telling them I was travelling for the Militery. Can you say cavity search? A full hour of security going through every part of my stuff only to have US Airways lose my shit anyways. If you want to know who the real enemy is, it's US Airways. I swear they are part of the Taliban.
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I loved the sunsets and sunrises in that country, it reminded me of the fires of Mordor off in the distance. if I was a Tolkeinesque geek, which i am only partly.
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My last morning in Bagram, the mountains are beautiful, and no one was hurt from the attack except some guy who was stabbed and had his weapon stolen.
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This is what two comics in a bombshelter during Mortor fire looks like. See the smiles... thats cause we're stupid.
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My bed in the Bee Hut. ( I hate the name bee hut, but luckily they had few bee's there)
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Our bee hut at Bagram. Simple but Luxerious compared to the rest of our accomidations.
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Rob, he was a trooper, but we all get tired..
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A very, very cold cot. Tip! Always sleep on something between you and the cot, as it strips heat away from your body, or avoid sleeping on cots.
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You like Luxury? Come to Afghanistan and stay at the accomidations for the comedian in Paktinka:) It was actually pretty comfortable, except for the dust which permeated everything. Including your Prince Albert Peircing! More about that later..
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Us and the really cool Colonel. Sorry it's blurry, but thats how everything looked to me at that point too.
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I like this pic, its the medical clinics light, the only visable light other than the moon. There was total light discipline on base, which meant no white lights at night.
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Sunburned and caffinated, we were about to step in for our brief for the Province of Paktinka. An amazing two hour explanation of the mission and goals. They only left out the Top Secret names of the suspected terrorists they knew were hiding in the hills. This was the first base where they really gave us an education in the war and the great thought behind so many actions and policies. The Lt colonel was a really cool guy, who should run for office.
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This guy was our personal security guard for the trip to the FOB's. He carried a grenade launcher, M-16 120 rounds of Ammo, 9 grenades, a 9mm berretta(that he said he would give to me if we came under fire, cause I learned how to shoot). I wonder what kind of shows they thought we were doing that we needed that much deterance.
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This is the Journalist from AFN who did a news story on us. He was cool, and he's gonna move to Latvia when he's out of the Army.
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Rob, given em hell. Why aren't there pictures of me? I can't perform and shoot myself you idiot.
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I like having a multiple rocket launcher off to the side of my shows, I think that will be a new rider in my contracts
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The boys havin a night to forget about there problems, (and I mean boys, only 4 women in this camp)
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This is where we performed in Oregan-e, Nothing says funny than in front of a wall of fallen hero's. The show was good though, nice crowd, fun, but there was a moat of about fifty feet from us to the crowd, and the setting sun was our light.... Now tell me about that hell gig you had to do?
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letting sleeping dogs lie. Funny I thought more of the dogs would be Afghans...
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Really not the best looking neighborhood.
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Black power.
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Stop so I can rob you!, Oh wait you are foreign, I must act like I am not part of the problem...
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I promised this guy I would give him this picture. I hope he finds my blog.
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They may hate my religion, but they love my money. I sat down and drank a cup of mint tea with these men, everybody else thought that was crazy, what with all the Dysentry, and Cholera about. But I had nary a stain in my underwear the following days.
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They stare with expectation and wonder. His eyes are x-raying me for any candy or pens. Sadly I have none.
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Little bottles for sale. Thought it looked neat.
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bazaar.
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The town bazaar (thats what they call any concetration of shops)
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Look I'm acting like a soldier, its soo cute.. Rocket launcher at my side. (first time I've ever held a rocket Launcher)
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The other end of the Patrol, we found no rockets.
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The interesting thing is they are all business men, if they gotta a cubby hole they create a store front.
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i loved this one, like an old turret.
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Look at the ancient walls around the town, no one seemed to know or care about their history.
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Drivin into town, the ancient and the present are intermixed with no reverence.
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Check out the firepower for a stroll in the hills... yep, grenade launchers, supressing fire weapons and good ol fashion M-16's. No picnic baskets though.
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Same pic as the next, but less posing
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Posing, like he is tellin me something important. Or maybe he is, I can't remember. But it looks like I'm posing.
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The hill top.
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The view of the valley below. The greenest place I saw in the stan.
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Ok, I'm breathing Hard... It's 8000 feet above sea level I have 55lbs of Kevlar and ceramic bullet proof plates on and I'm climbing a hill in a Place well known for IED's ... so bite me.
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Walking the hill.
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Going out on Patrol, You never are more conscious of land mines than when you walk through a field in Afghanistan
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The Kids love the pete:)
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Sunday, July 24, 2005



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