I awoke stressed. I have to do a show tomorrow in Birmingham Alabama, I know it will be fun, and I've done thousands of performances, but for some reason when I get in really good shape physically I worry if I am as funny as I would be if I was fat.
When I was, oh lets say a few pounds more rotund than present, I had a jolly quality on stage, an everyman that guy's liked and weren't threatened by, and girls liked but wouldn't consider sex with. But as I have slowly chiseled my features and attained more of a Greek godlike physique... Okay more of a middle Asiatic god, not quite Buddha but also not quite Thor either so lets just say I resemble a god who has been going to the gym diligently for about six months and been eating fairly right. But we all see what happens when funny guys get more attractive in a physical way, they become far less humorous. This is for two reasons and they both are due to male machismo. Guys do not want to laugh at anyone who is a physical or sexual threat to their status, unless it is in complete suck up situations(see your boss). I think it goes back to wolves and when they do comedy, the wolf that is always dominant never has to tell jokes he just eats caribou, looks up and laughs as a favor to the fatter somewhat awkward wolf who comes from a disfunctional pack, and maybe shares a little gristle with them as a reward... And on top of this no guy wants his date to laugh at a guy better lookin than he is, cause we are crazy insecure wolves... You know who has it the worst though... Sexy women who try to do stand up. They have to be absolute warriors against biology. As men cannot turn off the biological imperative to desire sexually a hot girl, and when we do we turn into parrot mode for comprehension of what they say, we merely mimic the surface intent of any conversation, as the 90% bulk of our brain matter is fantasizing. And women don't like sexy women performing, cause you simply hate each other. So at least I'm not a chick.
By the way, I don't think I'm hot or anything, just merely more attractive than I have been for a while, I'm a long way from my beauty ever being a distraction for others, but it's nice to daydream about a concern that I may never have... I think next I'll worry about how to clean up that awful money spill in my backyard. Maybe I should just burn it, cause there is so much and it's getting everywhere...
When I was, oh lets say a few pounds more rotund than present, I had a jolly quality on stage, an everyman that guy's liked and weren't threatened by, and girls liked but wouldn't consider sex with. But as I have slowly chiseled my features and attained more of a Greek godlike physique... Okay more of a middle Asiatic god, not quite Buddha but also not quite Thor either so lets just say I resemble a god who has been going to the gym diligently for about six months and been eating fairly right. But we all see what happens when funny guys get more attractive in a physical way, they become far less humorous. This is for two reasons and they both are due to male machismo. Guys do not want to laugh at anyone who is a physical or sexual threat to their status, unless it is in complete suck up situations(see your boss). I think it goes back to wolves and when they do comedy, the wolf that is always dominant never has to tell jokes he just eats caribou, looks up and laughs as a favor to the fatter somewhat awkward wolf who comes from a disfunctional pack, and maybe shares a little gristle with them as a reward... And on top of this no guy wants his date to laugh at a guy better lookin than he is, cause we are crazy insecure wolves... You know who has it the worst though... Sexy women who try to do stand up. They have to be absolute warriors against biology. As men cannot turn off the biological imperative to desire sexually a hot girl, and when we do we turn into parrot mode for comprehension of what they say, we merely mimic the surface intent of any conversation, as the 90% bulk of our brain matter is fantasizing. And women don't like sexy women performing, cause you simply hate each other. So at least I'm not a chick.
By the way, I don't think I'm hot or anything, just merely more attractive than I have been for a while, I'm a long way from my beauty ever being a distraction for others, but it's nice to daydream about a concern that I may never have... I think next I'll worry about how to clean up that awful money spill in my backyard. Maybe I should just burn it, cause there is so much and it's getting everywhere...
posted by escarius at
9:58 AM
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