Woo Hoo. I'm in Germany.
If you would have asked me on Monday, hey what are you gonna be doing on friday? I most likely wouldn't have said, "I'll be hanging out in the Generals lounge at Ramstein AFB, in Germany wishing I was in Afghanistan. " Nope, I sure wouldn't. But here I am, waiting, and wondering why?
The weirdest thing about all this "Hurry up and Wait," mentality is that there is really no one to blame. It's just the way the system is, could they have planned it better? Nope. Most likely not, cause there is no way to predict who is going to be on each flight. And guess what, plasma is more important than comics.
I just feel bad because I wish I was out there doing shows for these guys, everytime they can't get us on a flight is another platoon who gets no entertainment, and has to wait another month for somebody else to come through.
Couple things that I've learned while here, damn is it expensive. Wow. just hanging out has cost me a fortune. Uhm, germans, very limited understanding of sarcasm. I like german ice cream. I dislike german fashion. I am indifferent towards german indifference.
So hopefully I will be going out on a transport this afternoon, of course I have heard that three times now and ended back at quarters with bad TV and worse bathrooms. Oh well, paint on some smiles and hope to get to the war, what the hell am I saying?

I think the best way to blog is once every six to eight weeks. I am the god of irregularity.

My thought here is I should write something about how I feel before I leave for Afghanistan tomorrow. Oh, for those of you not following my life, or shattered by the non-sequitar transitions in my bi-monthly blogs(there is only one of you), I am doing a tour for the military(US) to perform in a war zone.
I have avoided talking about it too much, except in the last week or so where I must admit I have somewhat relished in the attention it gleans. But I am scared, but I am far more excited... But more than that I am relieved.
Que-que ce? Relieved?
Let me explain, I almost destroyed my relationship of four years last week trying to pressure my fiance to please, please just have phone sex with me, cause we haven't seen each other in a couple months. Well that turned out bad, seems she had a hard day, worked incredibly long hours, and I of course could not see past the immediate gratification I required. Oh and she hates sex. So those things came about in a childish pouty argument that I turned into the sinking of the Titanic. I am gifted that way.
So I spent the last week trying to deal with the fact that my relationship is ending, trying to wonder if anyone would ever love me again. Am I destined to be alone lord..weep weep.. Then the mid week rebound, I am gonna become better and stronger, workout look forward not back, this is an opportunity! Then we talked and I realized I kinda blew the whole thing out of perspective.
SO in essence I am looking forward to Afghanistan, if only to save me from myself, and the poor choices I make in relationships.

Some advice if you are ever planning a trip to a war zone.--
a) Don't read any literature or statistics regarding anti-personell or transpot mines. In no way does knowing about these devices make you feel better. here's a taste--most people survive anti personell mines! Yeah ! Hurrah! But without their legs and genitals...Boo! No Hurrah!
Ok Anti transport mines can kill a platioon, and are set to be triggered often after four our five triggers so that they don't just hit the front vehicle, and if all the doors and windows are closed the concussion while turn you and you new friends into goo on the wall, floor, roof and windows...
b)Don't spend 20 bucks on an internet will, when there are free ones on usenet groups.
c)Don't chat in Black flag cafe (the website for travell to the worlds most dangerous places) with a guy who befriends you then repeatedly keeps trying to find out when you are landing and how you are travelling to the base.-Creepy, Creepy.
d) Don't make jokes to your loved ones about a dotted perforation mark you want to tatoo on your neck so terrorists can have an easy time when you hit the internet.. They just don't get it.
e) Don't over pack. I am so tempted to take a telescope to look at the stars, walkie talkies, my laptop, a humidifyer, cheese, an ottoman..but I willtrust leaving these comforts behind will be wise.
f) Don't almost break up with your fiance. It seems like a good idea, but after a small amount of research, with the exception of the end of week productivity kick brought on by not wanting to think about how sad you are, it isn't wise.
g) Don't tell your parents... Now some of you have cooler parents than me, but still weigh this choice. Tell them when you get back, butif you tell them prior they will go ballistic, it is impossible for parents to remember far enough back to when they used to take chances and live life, and the world they know is that fearful 30 minute summary intermixed with a dog that can sing on the news everynight. So if Vancouver BC is the scariest place on earth to be, imagine how difficult it is for them to wrap their head around Afghanistan.
h) Do familiarize yourself with some peace loving phrases from the holy Q'oran.
i) Do realize there are very few.
j) Maybe don't bring that israeli flag pillow case, or if you must bring a star of David, maybe leave one point of it at home? In the mideast its better to be Pagan.

Thats about it for now.
I am heading out in roughly 20 hours. I am excited. A little nervous(but mostly about being funny) and opptomistic.

I'll do my best to update this blog, maybe even put up some photos. But that all depends on what is in store.

God bless.