Day something... Edinburgh...yeah.

Holy McMoly this place is a roller-coaster ride of feelings and emotions.

It's been a little over a week and not much has changed. My show numbers go up and down with little or no predictability. On the days supposed to be slow I did pretty good, then last night rolled around and my numbers plummeted on a friday? The only difference being that it was raining like crazy. Which sucks cause I can't control the rain anymore.

Also weirdly I got two four star reviews right away, but then no more reviews have come out. Which I don't understand cause I keep getting told reviews are at my shows. Do they come and just not comment? It's weird...

And more than weird is stress. So stressful. People keep telling me to have a good time and enjoy myself. Then those same people tell me I gotta get out there and hustle. Which I don't understand. Then they tell me not to stress. Huh?

All my guest spots are going great up here. Doing Late and Live tonight, BBC Stand up tomorrow. Yesterday did WMD benefit, and Chix with Guns, all fun shows.

Went to the Loft bar and hung out with the lovely Tiernan Douieb and his girlfriend (Who counts his drinks! Ha!) and my wife (who counts the random cigarettes i might have, no ha!). Finally ran into Greg Berehendt who unbelievably looks younger than when I last saw him ten years ago. Amazing! Had a nice talk with Janeane Garafalo and we reminisced of the old days in Los Angeles and the awful things happening with the Health Care debacle in the US. And ended on the humorous fact she cleans her hotel room before the maid gets the chance. Thats just a little fucked up. Thats what i love about hotels, and mom's for that matter. Anyways, having one fault makes one more interesting.

The Girls with guns show was really nice, i got to be onstage with one of my favorite people Zoe Lyons. She oozes charm, and her entire set was about food, which makes my heart swell as we share a common love. Lucy Porter and Tiffany Stevenson also did great sets, but I was zonked at that point and had to hit the hay.

I texted my manager on the way home to see if the reviewer he was talking to after my show liked it and he never replied. And that no reply hit like a thump. It just feels like a no. So I was a little down when I went to bed, then awoke did Edcom at the Pleasance and rocked. It's better than coffee for lifting your spirits.

So there's my journal/blog for the last day or two. Will continue later:) Cheers

Day 6 i lost a couple days there....

Ah come on don't judge! It's not like I have been consistent writing my blog before now, sometimes I forget. Sometimes I get involved in things that distract me. Sometimes i stare with ambivalence at the keyboard as if I couldn't care if the keys were to drown in front of me I would not lend a hand... Fuck you Phil collins, and get out of my blog...

OK, so my belly is permanently sticking out in a ball. I know there is other news to speak of, but this is concerning me. I have not been drinking enough to have a beer belly, and lets be honest, i'm more likely to get a tequila belly (which I assume would have thorns). But as this whole move into a foreign town for a month is upsetting to ones base comfort levels, I have found myself 'comfort eating' of late. Pizza, pasta, sandwiches (Greg's no less), Quiche, and as I have gone pseudo vegetarian, carbs have been piling up! I am pretty sure thats why I have been unbelievably lethargic. I don't crave meat though. I imagine this is the feeling that guys who go to Gay conversion camps never feel.

The days have been beautiful, and I always think I'm gonna go out to the park and kick the ball around. But i am held hostage by the swarms of local hornets and wasps. Is there no bird or animal that eats them that we can introduce? I am all for fucking with the eco system so I can enjoy a picnic someday.

Sleep schedule is the last point of my health issues I want to address. There is no way to predict when I get to sleep, and I have always been a 10hour a nighter. I know that seems indulgent, but who'll be laughing when I live to a hundred and forty. Some mornings I gotta get up at nine, then the next night do a show at 2am. I have a very sensitive circadian rhythm to maintain, in fact its the only rhythm I have. So this unnatural cycle makes me feel crazy and require endless naps.

I sound like fun!

It has been pretty good outside my body though the last couple days. I now have two four star reviews by some pretty decent sources which is really nice. I have been told I am getting great word of mouth. And after a near sell out weekend and good numbers over whats considered the slow days, I might actually break even! Hell, if I start to fill up more during the week, I could still make a profit, but I'm not gonna start spending my money yet... Although I do want the new iphone, and its a chore to not just go get one.

My wife has been amazing through all this. It's funny, cause I'm as moody as being pregnant. So thats how we are trading this off. I get one month a year of being crazy for nine years, and she gets all of hers in a row.

I am gonna start watching some other shows this week too. I have a list, I wanna catch Greg Berehndts as he is an old pal from my LA days, and I always remember what a brilliant comic he was. He used to have this bit about his girlfriend trying to make him suck a black dildo, and he wanted to say know, but he didn't want to seem racist... very funny. I am gonna check out JJ Whiteheads show at the Stand at 4pm as well. There are a bunch of shows I can't see as they conflict with my showtime, like Mark Walker's Scorpio. That would be cool to see, as I am a Scorpio. But I am anti-magic. And Astrology does walk the line of the Dark Arts, but it looks really interesting!

So it's wednesday, and I am enjoying myself. Over the next couple days, I will probably get naked in public for no good reason, do a whole bunch of guest spots, eat numerous sandwich's from baguette time, and do some more really wonderful shows for some wonderful audiences.

I'll try not to ramble so much next time. Cheers.

Day 3 This is getting a little crazy now...

I knew saturday was gonna be weird cause I woke before my alarm went off at 9:20 am. I fuckin hate that. I need that extra 30 minutes sleep but my panicky mind doesn't trust my quick getting dressed skills. I put on the three articles of clothes I wear in the day. Shorts(no underwear) Shirt, and flipflops (they count as one) and trekked to grab a quad Americano and head to Andre Vincent's and Marcus Brigstocke's to prep for Early Edition.

I arrived to find them up and chipper and half way through the stack of Papers. I also met Carrie Ann Quinlan, who I quietly love. We read and drank coffee for two hours. Making short jokes and discussing the news and politics. It was very enjoyable prep.

When we got there, the line up was impressive and thats when they told me they paid... I was floored. Making money in Edinburgh is rare and lovely, and that gave me the extra boost to try harder.

The show was so cool, smart crowd, some great jokes off the headlines. I even got some zingers in. I was particularily impressed with Carrie, I guess thats cause I never saw her perform before, I knew Andre and Markus are real good. So it was a pleasure to watch her too!

Anyways, that went well, and after I talked to Andre and thanked him for having me. As a joke I said, "I know you had alot of reservations" and he with all seriousness said, no it wasn't me, it was Markus, but he was really happy with how you did... ! I thought that was hilarious.

Did a radio show, that was way better than the Leith FM experience. The DJ's were soo young they blushed when they swore and the girls shyness was so charming and difficult all in one:)

Ran into Jack Whitehall again, who obviously read my blog yesterday as he quickly brought up my wifes tits, which I appreciate. He is such a nice boy.

Ran into Zoe Lyons, and we talked on the street for quite a bit, she is the coolest ladies. She didn't realize it was my wife on the cover of Diva magazine when she bought it, and then we discussed the embarrassment and beauty of the photo spread. We both aknowledged the futility of trying not to party, and she had some great stories of excess. No comic makes me happier to see than Zoe.

I got to the show and snuck a beer in to save the extra two pounds it costs with even my discount. And my room was very warm and the mic was broken, and no chair. But hey, no biggie we got it sorted.

The room started to fill. And it kept filling. And Court kept looking at me wondering if we should start the music, but they just kept coming... until it was full. Damn.

The show was good. It was not the fun playful show of the day before though, it was actually work. They were good, but not easy, and there was some stuff that just didn't click I felt.

But after they gave a huge applause, and many bought CD's. So I didn't beat myself up to much.

Plus afterwards i saw on my poster I had gotten a four star review which is nice. But I didn't want to investigate anymore.

Somebody bought me a Sol, and I ran into JJ Whitehead, who's show I can't wait to see at the Stand, and I got drunk. Only two beer. Then went up and did a spot at the Cow Cafe, and shocked and appalled them after all the singy songy comedy they had heard. But they loved it the dirty bastards. Then home.

We did argue on the way home me and my wife, cause this particularly fighty looking Scots man kept insulting the chicken we bought. (I know how weird that sounds) but my wife kept answering him! And I kept motioning for her to ignore him. And she said she could handle this, but as every guy on earth knows, this ends in us fighting not them.

Finally I pull her away from the confrontation and I explain why its so important to ignore drunk/crazy people unless they pose an acute danger to you or others, but she insisted that she was right. And in the end, what the fuck can I say? Fine. You're right.

Talk later, lets see how sunday is:)

Day 2 Second Show in Edinburgh, picking up:)

It was lovely.

As I start to relax it's starting to become quite enjoyable. I ran into some great folk today, Jack Whitehall was getting a sandwich at the local shop and it was lovely. I think he doesn't like my wife cause he stares deep into my eyes rather than at her. Puzzling. I heard his show is quite spectacular. But if he doesn't stare at my wifes tits, I'm not so sure.

I haven't had a chance to see anyone yet, but I will starting Sunday, as tomorrow is gonna be busy. Up at 10 to do the Early Edition with Markus Brigstock and Andre Vincent, then nap, then Radio at 7, then nap, show at 8:45 then, then nap, then spot at 10:10. So no drinking or partying tonight, which I woulda loved to have done. Why?

Cause it was a great show, three quarters full, (pullin in alot of young ladies, cause I'm hot) very fun crowd. Came up with a killer line too! Sold CD's and then after...

My buddies from Amsterdam are here! It was soo cool all the staff from Toomler! But I couldn't get crazy cause of stupid responsibilities...

Not the best blog today, but I'm happy. And I am not gonna say anything about numbers anymore cause you guys really told me not to be so lazy yesterday, so I won't.

Cheers, have some fun stuff tomorrow!

Day 1 First Show in Edinburgh...and boy am I gonna lose my shirt, but thats OK.

I make bad financial decisions. I assume I inherited this from my dad who had a choice to invent in video games in the early 80's or a polyurethane apple box for orchardists that lasted for years instead of plywood ones which last a couple years. Not realizing the orchardists had no inclination to pay hundreds of dollars for something they could build for dollars...

So in the middle of this centuries worst recession I took all my savings and went into 5k of debt to perform in this years Edinburgh festival. And I got some news...

I ain't gonna make it back:)

Its almost a relief though. I was so stressed about it, but now I can deal with the closure. And it sucks a little bit, but I just can't compete with the marketing that surrounds me. I mean as funny and as good as my show is( and it really is). I'm not easily marketed.

I walk around and see posters for all these shows that I would way rather see than mine. Just beautifully artistic pieces, and stunning concept pieces and colorful eyecatching pieces. then mine, which if it was by itself would look ok, but it's an average penis in a well hung gangbang of posters.

And on top of marketing, there are some great name acts here, that makes me think why would anyone come see an unknown like me? The got Rys Darby, Janeane Garafolo, Rhod Gilbert, Russell Kane etc... It almost doesn't make sense to see me.

But there is peace in that. Now I can keep my expectations nice and low. And maybe, the crowds will be wonderful like tonight's was:) small, intimate friendly. And I'll have a wonderful month of delightful shows, where I lose a ton of money. But I get to summer here and see alot of great acts.

So here's to accepting reality. And enjoying the present. Happy apathy. Hapathy:)

Pete J

Going to Edinburgh is neither cheap nor easy-guest blog..

Day Zero

(I decided to let my wife Courtney start off my daily blogging for the Edinburgh festival as giving view from another perspective. She will be blogging herself about Edinburgh on her own blog. I will do a daily update for the duration of the fest as well as a daily pic to show the wear and tear on ones body and spirit. See you tomorrow for my pre show Jitters post!)

My husbands choice to perform at the Edinburgh Fringe Festival this year was one I supported with every ounce of intellect i possessed. After all I couldn't ask for a better investment, not only do I love this man, but from the very first time i saw him perform i knew i had struck comedy gold. The initial steps towards the Festival started about 4 months out and were pretty simple, picking the venue was like a long math equation of comparing costs from the number of seats to the temperature of the venue, and its location. Choosing the name "Naked Pictures of my Life" was quick, and broad enough that a show could be created in and around it. These simple decisions however quickly turned from being calculable to incredibly trying as we prepared for the photo-shoot. The quick simple name became a struggle as the only feasible poster pictures would need to be, well naked. On the day of the shoot, I started to reevaluate how fast we jumped into Edinburgh as I saw the first glimpse of the emotional strength i would need to be the back bone of a 6 foot four 225 pound Comic. Getting his clothes off in front of the camera wasn't as easy as I usually find it, and I really needed to take the reigns. I powdered his nose, pinched his cheeks and stripped down to my birthday suit. I held my big boys hand and dragged him in front of the camera with me. After a maximum of 10 clicks of the camera he was nude and posing like a professional. In what seemed like minutes we had taken over 300 pictures and were on our way home, he was liberated. Now all he needed was a show. Since his show was going to be an honest look into his own life, he was able to give his imagination a rest and instead search his memory. This was harder than anything proceeding it, he spent countless hours and sleepless nights, not writing, but stressing. The mere thought of opening his entire family history to anyone was completely unfeasible, and not just because it was hard to talk about, but because even when he did, few believed it. Coming from a family with an NHL Stanley Cup winning dad, who is not only Opus Dei catholic but a Le Franciscan Monk to boot, paired with an Emmy Award winning, Olympic basketball playing brother, never made for the most believable stories. At age 20 Pete gave up talking about his family altogether and had always made sure his comedy steered wide and clear of it. The quick easy Edinburgh title struck again, as the posters were printed and people were expecting a show revealing the truth about his history. It was time for me to take his hand again. I figured if i could get him to tell the truth about his family, no holds barred to someone, anyone, he would see just how funny it was. Two months out Pete's manager introduced him to his new press agent, who promptly sat him down to talk about his show, sweating at the palms Pete began his journey towards honesty about the family life he hid so well. By the end of the meeting his press agent was in hysterics, and that was all he needed. A month out his hour long show was complete, the stress was lifting and the light of Edinburgh was gleaming once again. The last month was chalk full of previews and radio shows, enough that the thought of talking about his family wasn't even dawning on him anymore. As he got ready to head to a gig out of town he was informed of a cancellation, this hit hard. Not only were we already scrounging for cash after the thousands of pounds we invested in the next months festival, but we were seriously counting on that money to actually eat. Panicking, Both Pete and I searched for quick work, but as there is a recession and with only 8 hours notice, it was looking grim. That night was tough, I became aware of some other fears he had about Edinburgh, our health, our future, and whether we were taking a step in the wrong direction. We decided to sleep on it. The next day we met with some other comics and heard their stories, some were good, and some were horrific, but while in the midst of conversation he got a call, the Comedy store was looking for a headliner that weekend, was it fate? He promptly left and came home to me with a smile and some cash. We were going to be alright, the only thing left to do was pack our apartment, find a new one, move our stuff and get a train up to Edinburgh, simple.