Toronto Life

So I finished my week in TO. Other than battling the worst flu of my adult life, it was a really good week of shows. The crowds were informed, smart and plentiful. But, as you know I am a complainer... so here goes....

I never have really enjoyed my time in Toronto in past, and this is a sentiment that most if not all western comics seem to repeat, its that the people are really, really distant and uptight.

I hate, I really hate that I have to agree but man! Are we that different out west? Cause it seems like the idea of hospitality and gregariousness are completely foreign to both the crowds and the comics... And I don't want to believe it. I mean the city is so cool, but is it just accepted that you don't talk to outsiders?

I'm sure its me, and I'm projecting my own crazy insecurities on this city of 5 million. Or, and this is probably most likely is that I'm a complete jerk and people just don't ever want to talk to me. But hey, at least get to know I'm a jerk, then cut me off.

Not one person... not one came up to talk to me after my shows. They all looked happy, turned the other way and left. It fucked with my self esteem on such a collosal level, all that goes through your head is "God am I incredibly ugly?" or "While making people laugh, did I make them hate me? And how does someone that makes you laugh that hard make you hate them? Is that possible?". Toronto makes me need therapy.

I do comedy for approval. I sure as shit don't do it for money. I do it to have an immediate impact on someones life, and thoughts and feelings. And apllause and laughter is great, but the occasional "Hey you were great man" or "Thanks I had a blast" is very welcome after the shows. Now I know that sounds needy, but I guarantee that other comics motives when analyzed are equally fucked up when put under the psychoanalysts microscope, I just happen to be open and honest about mine.

Now, this is not normal out west, in Calgary, Edmonton, Vancouver, Seattle, Portland, San Francisco, Tempe, Austin, San Antonio, San Diego, Sacramento, or any other place I play out west people bee line it for you after the shows... Just to say hi, thank you, or welcome to our city...

How is the culture so different in Toronto? How did that evolve, did comics used to hit welcoming audience members? I am glad I did not try to sell any merchandise, that would have been an embarrassing nightmare of just standing alone with my product looking like I just got stood up on a date..

And I'm not imagining good shows, they were, they were really good. I'm not an idiot, I can tell...( see Birmingham Alabama).

I am spending three weeks there in June, I will keep you up to date on how lonely I get. Man what a decade to quit drinkin!