Happy Birthday!

Welcome to Philadelphia. The city of brotherly love, but as gay as that sounds, its one of the friendliest places I've ever been.
The Helium Club is a beautiful room in downtown, right in an area of fancy shops and cool nightlife, definitely an A room. And the crowds are awesome, smart, cool, urban, and definitely open minded.

So I knocked my first one out last night, did well in front of about a hundred plus. I really liked the comics I'm workin with, some guy named Brandon and a fella with spine-bifita named Tim.

Now a caveat here. I am under strict order to not sleep with any of the staff at this club. These are the agents specific words "YOU are NOT to have Sex with any of The Waitresses, if you do YOU will NEVER work for the booker ever again"....

It's funny this comedy club has become like the classic farmers daughter joke, except now its the club owner and his waitresses. Cause of course right away they are all over me trying to get me to fuck....
Just kiddin. But they are fun and cool but utterly flabbergasted that I don't drink. Well anyways we go out with the middle act and hit a few places... And the middle act who of course is breaking the rule that I've been given is having a great time. But he is a little indelicate in his interpersonal relations with civilians... So these three cute girls walk buy and he calls the one holding the balloon a loser. Well that was a bit harsh so I stop and apologize, but the one girl wants to kick his ass anyways. I sweet talk her and her friend out of it and they tell me that She's celebrating her B Day, She's only twenty something... Anyways we talk for a little bit and they are pretty cool, and smart.

So anyways I'm about to leave and go catch up to my new friends when she says I'd really like it if you fucked me for my birthday.

Hmm. This seems like some kinda trap. Cute girl, not even that drunk, propositions me right then and there.
"I'm sorry what?"

"Well you're cute, and you're the nicest guy I've met tonight, you made me and my friends laugh and well its my birthday, so I'd like for you to wake up in my bed"

"Ummm, well let me say goodnight to my friends."

"Don't take too long"

"I won't"

Well welcome to Philly, and happy birthday to me:)